Twas the Night of the Oscars

By now, you probably all know what I will be doing tonight! The one night of the year I am glued to the tv ALL night (post kids--prior to kids, I was glued ALL day and ALL night) is for some serious stuff, people--the Academy Awards!!

And because Ostcar night is truly one of my faves, my sweet darling sister (who knows me better than most, and has more creative juices flowing than I'll ever have) wrote this poem for/about little ol' me! I was laughing too hard and so impressed that I had to share it with you. Thank you, Mary, I feel so honored!! So, as I'm getting close to preparing to splurge with pizza, coke and popcorn, I leave you with this. . .

Twas the Night of the Oscars---by Mary Buchas, MY sister

Twas the night of the Oscars, and all through the house
My biffer was squealing like a freakish little mouse
The DVR was set - for a little longer - with care
In hopes that Tom and Hugh would be there.

The boys were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Bun Bun and Froggie danced in their heads.
And Meryl in her Dolce, and Biffer in her jammies
Were ready for the show - so much better than the Grammies!

When out on the red carpet there arose such a clatter
Biffer leapt from the couch, but her coke did not splatter!
The paparazzis' cameras clicked and they flashed
Which star was that arriving totally smashed?

The moon on the breast of Penelope Cruz
Had men saying "Wowzers, those things are huge!"
When, what to Biffer's nose should detect
Popcorn with lemon pepper - what else did you expect?!

Then the award show began, with Alec and Steve
Who knows what these two would have up their sleeve!
Who would get these naked golden dudes of eternal fame?
More celebrities came out, and called the winners by name!

"Now Sandra! Now Mo'nique! Now Jeff for Crazy Heart!"
"Now James! Now Avatar! Now Christopher for your supporting part!"
So up to the stage the celebrities flew
With their awards in their hands, and a long speech too.

The weary kind, did begin to yawn
Dear Lord they made this show really long!
But my Biffer yelled, "No, nobody is going to bed!"
You see - when it comes to the Oscars - she's a little crazy in the head...

She sprang up on the couch, and gave a Avatar a cheer
I mean, it was THE BEST movie she's ever seen...er, this year?
She doesn't care if her freakofnaturemovieobsession causes others fright
So she exclaims "Happy Academy Awards America, it's Oscar Night!"